How often have you hesitated to ask a friend for money they owe you? Or felt awkward discussing salaries with colleagues? In many cultures—especially in Southeast Asia—the concept of malu (shame or embarrassment) surrounds money talk, making it a sensitive topic. This reluctance can lead to financial mismanagement, debt, and even strained relationships.
But what if we normalised money conversations? What if discussing finances felt as natural as talking about the weather? Let’s explore why money talk feels taboo and how to overcome it for better financial health.
Why Are We “Malu” to Talk About Money?
Several factors contribute to this discomfort:
1. Cultural Conditioning
- Many societies label money talk as rude, private, or boastful.
- Phrases like “Don’t ask about someone’s salary!” reinforce the taboo.
2. Fear of Judgment
- People worry about being seen as “poor” or “greedy.”
- Those earning more may fear resentment; those earning less may feel insecure.
3. Lack of Financial Literacy
- Not understanding financial terms can make discussions intimidating.
- Many avoid the topic to hide their lack of knowledge.
4. Family Upbringing
- Some households never discuss money, making it an unfamiliar subject.
How to Overcome the Money Talk Taboo
1. Start Small & Normalise the Conversation
Instead of diving into deep financial discussions, begin with simple topics like:
- “How do you budget for groceries?”
- “Any tips for saving on travel?”
- “What’s your favorite money-saving app?”
This makes money talk feel more casual and less intrusive.
2. Reframe Your Mindset
Money isn’t just about numbers—it’s a tool for security and freedom. Shift your perspective:
- It’s not rude, it’s responsible. Talking about finances helps you learn and grow.
- You’re not alone. Everyone deals with money struggles—even those who seem wealthy.
3. Practice with Trusted People
Start with close friends, family, or mentors who won’t judge you. Share:
- A financial goal (“I’m saving for a laptop—any tips?”)
- A mistake (“I overspent last month—how do you track expenses?”)
This builds confidence for tougher conversations (like salary negotiations).
4. Use the “Sandwich Method” for Tough Talks
If you need to discuss loans, debts, or payments, soften the approach:
- Start positive: “I really value our friendship…”
- Middle (the ask): “I was hoping we could settle the money I lent last month.”
- End positive: “Thanks for understanding—let me know what works for you!”
5. Educate Yourself
The more you know, the less intimidating money talk becomes. Try:
- Reading personal finance books (“Rich Dad Poor Dad,” “The Total Money Makeover”)
- Following financial educators on social media
- Taking free online courses (Coursera, YouTube)
6. Seek Professional Help
If money stress is overwhelming:
- A financial planner can help with planning.
- A therapist can address deep-seated money anxieties.
Real-Life Benefits of Talking About Money
- Better Salary Negotiations – Knowing industry rates helps you advocate for fair pay.
- Smarter Spending – Friends can share budgeting hacks you never considered.
- Stronger Relationships – Clear money talks prevent misunderstandings with family/partners.
- Less Financial Stress – Keeping money secrets often leads to anxiety—openness brings relief.
Final Thought: Break the Silence
Money shouldn’t be a forbidden topic. By taking small steps—asking questions, sharing experiences, and learning—we can break the malu barrier and build healthier financial habits.
How can a financial planner help you?
If you are not ready to talk about money with your friends and family, you can talk with me. I will help you to avoid costly financial errors and build a secure future. Depending on your needs, I can provide:
✔ Personalised financial plans (no one-size-fits-all solutions).
✔ Debt reduction strategies to free up cash flow.
✔ Smart investment guidance (without high-risk gambling).
✔ Retirement planning so you can retire comfortably.
✔ Tax optimisation to keep more money in your pocket.
If you are interested in working with me, just leave your details by clicking the button below. I will reach out to you and see if we would be a good fit for each other.
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Disclaimer: This post is for informational purpose only. You should use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan suggested or recommended in this article.